She was my newest client and I was excited like a child with fresh ice cream when she said those words to me.

Of course, I should have been sympathetic I suppose. But I was excited because I’d been EXACTLY where she was just a few years before and I knew how to break her free from her constant uphill battles with life, money, business and relationships.

All I had to do was to get her to listen.

And the same, of course, goes for you.

Except, instinctively, we knew it was for the worst.

No one expects the best. Success comes as a surprise when it shows up, and most of us regard it as a curious and unrepeatable concoction of luck, who you know rather than what you know and usually a hefty helping of hard work behind the scenes.

Instead, we habitually expect the worst. We even casually add, “Take care!” when our loved ones leave the house, as if they should somehow have one eye on the rear view mirror of life in case some un-thought of misadventure is about to creep up on them and trip them up, putting paid to their otherwise carefree day.

We won’t take any kind of risk unless we’ve first considered the “worst case scenario” and covered ourselves with seven kinds of insurance – or some equivalent pack of Plans B!

And we’re beginning to live in a nightmare world where we’re becoming “super unfit” in an attempt to combat all the “stress” the outside world throws at us. Obesity is at record levels and never before has there been such acute awareness of mental health issues. We now have everyone including football stars, TV and movie stars and even royalty openly talking about mental pain and suffering.

As I was a mental health professional for the best part of four decades, of course I applaud the inclusivity of this new “let it all hang out” openness. The stigma of mental illness has hung around for far too long.

But the question of WHY is it happening isn’t being addressed – not at its root. Life, contrary to popular cultural myth does NOT have to be difficult. In fact, it isn’t.

There are no problems in nature!

Dodging “Bullets”

If you ask my friend Jerry how he is, he’s likely to tell you that he’s very well, thanks, because he’s dodged “all the bullets” for another day!

I can see what he means.

He sees life as survival until a bullet gets you. Of course, there’s the big silver bullet of death awaiting all of us, but he doesn’t mean that specifically. (Although I think he factors it in!)

I believe he means everything, from his house not falling down to his health staying stable to his morning cup of tea being just the right temperature.

Jerry voices what many of us feel at a gut level. Sooner or later, life is going to get you and happiness and good times are just the lucky filling in a kind of time sandwich between catastrophes!

Jerry’s retired so he doesn’t have to concern himself with a job.

If you have one, according to Gallup who’ve been polling people from over 200 countries since the year 2000, the average percentage of workers who hate or are at least described as “not engaged with” their jobs is around a staggering 90%!

(In the USA, it’s only 75% with China and Japan coming off worst, apparently).

According to an article by “The Motley Fool” published in “USA Today” in late 2017, the average American household owes more than $137,000 in mortgage, car loans, credit card debt and student loans yet has a median income of just over $59,000.

I’m quite certain that figures for the UK, Europe, Australia … in fact the rest of the so-called “civilised” world wouldn’t be significantly different.

It seems like there’s no escape. All we can hope to do, like Jerry, is dodge bullets until one day one gets us.

I don’t mean that we should all run around the nearest woodland in our underwear and “Back To Nature” t-shirts! (Although if you want to, be my guest. Just don’t ask me to join you, you weirdo!)

I’m talking about seeing life differently. I’m talking about knowing in a deep down inside kind of way that we’re safe. And that stress and worry are utterly pointless and useless and can be dropped as easily as you leave shitty wellington boots outside.

And there’s something else.

Back in the days when “New Age” was all the rage – the 1980s and 90s I suppose – one of the popular phrases bandied about was “Go with the flow.”

The problem was, I don’t think anyone – at least not anybody I knew – had the faintest idea how to do that! I don’t think we even knew where the “flow” was!

It didn’t just mean “roll with the punches,” it meant “take the punches and get up again and carry on because the punch was just in the flow.”

Boiled down, I eventually came to realise, that meant “be a wuss and let life beat up on you.”

I quickly grew tired of being beaten up on – although it didn’t stop women doing that to my heart for quite a few years. It took nothing more than a tiny shift in perspective, (and I’ve been extremely happily married since 2006, in case you’re wondering). The problem wasn’t the women – it was my stubbornly resisting seeing what was right under my nose all the time.

It’s clear that our solutions aren’t working.

Worry doesn’t solve problems. It merely leads to more worry, which, in its chronic states can become anxiety and/or depression.

Fear of loss doesn’t bring riches.
And staying in our comfort zones eventually becomes a prison of our own making and just limits our lives!

Things – and people – do, you know!

Perhaps you’ve never heard of Mary Schiller, (in which case, look her up – she’s a lovely lady.)

Mary, (who tells her story quite openly and has even written a book about it – “I Am Just A Woman”), escaped a violent, abusive seven year nightmare of a marriage whilst she was still in her twenties.

The PTSD symptoms she was left with stayed with her for the next thirty years. She says she lost count of the number of therapists she saw after the 25th one. Some helped a bit, but none freed her entirely from the fear, the anxiety, the paranoid thoughts and nighttime horrific nightmares.

Until one day, walking on Broadway in New York City, she saw that she simply didn’t have to have those symptoms. She literally walked away from them and now has a very successful and much loved coaching practice via the internet. And she also lives in her beloved Paris, France – despite apparently having no money or means to get there at the time.

She simply learned to ditch negativity.

This isn’t positive thinking either. It’s not reliant on any technique like that.

To do positive thinking the very least you need is to remember to do it! Caught off guard by one of life’s “curved balls” most of us will go back to the defaults of fear and worry.

As for me, if you met me you’d see a happy contented man in love with his wife and his life.

Do I have issues behind the scenes? Of course! But no worries because worry is a state of mind I don’t need any more.

There’s nothing I cannot achieve – and that goes for you too.

Ponder that for a moment, would you?

What are your hopes for your business?

What are your dreams for your future with your loved ones – or for finding a loved one?

What’s on your “bucket list” – places you want to visit and savour, experiences you’re keen to try, adventures you’d be thrilled to have…?

Please join me for a unique live event on Sunday, June 1st 2019. We’ll run from 1pm to around 5pm UK time, (which is 8a.m to 12 noon EST).

Here’s what we’ll do together:

At 1pm sharp UK time we’ll meet on a live training where I’ll walk you through the new thought system, give you some examples to play with and some surprises too!

You’ll be able to chat with me via a chat box, but we won’t be able to talk as a group on that part of the workshop.

Then, around 90 minutes later, we’ll take a half hour break, and we’ll come back onto the Zoom platform where I’ll facilitate a breakthrough party and we can all talk to each other. There, you’ll be able to ask me questions directly, chat with each other via text and have a celebration of your new freedoms!

We’ll run for a full 2 hours and cover every angle.

And let me tell you … this is NOT NLP, it’s NOT “law of attraction” and it is absolutely not therapy!

There are NO techniques to learn, no affirmations to recite, no meditation to practice.

Instead, what you’ll have is a completely refreshed understanding of how you and life work – and how you can live in harmony with yourself, your own nature and big Mother Nature too. (No tree hugging required either – although if that floats your boat, go ahead!)

To participate all you have to do is buy a ticket and your seat is reserved!

Tickets are just $497 – and BONUS … you get to keep the recordings!

To maximise the benefit of this training I’m limiting tickets to just 25 places, so buy yours now if you want to be there.

I’m a psychotherapist, author and coach who for over thirty years thought that life was a struggle at best, a battle at worst and that happiness and success came at a cost, if at all – and then only in rare moments.

I’ve been on a long personal development journey, spent years in training as a mental health professional, steeped myself in spiritual teachings from the Far East to the Modern West … and recently discovered that I didn’t need most of it in the first place!

Life is, it turns out, simple and fun.

Please join me on Sunday, 1st of June.

All good things,
Trevor.